What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
