She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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