His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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