He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
