The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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