I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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