Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
