Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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