Non-Jews are for practice
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
