just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
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I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
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It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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