the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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