You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
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