I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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