On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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