Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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