I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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