They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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