My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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