New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
