I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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