3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
