they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
