I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize