Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
