i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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