found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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