If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
