Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
