Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
