exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
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i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
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She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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