apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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