Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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