the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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