Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
