Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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