Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
