screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I enjoy the company of your penis
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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