Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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