Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
