Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
