Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
