We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
