those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
