i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
