He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You were trust falling into bushes
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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