Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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