Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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