the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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