UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
