That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
