Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize