Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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