is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
