Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize