How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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