Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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