carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
