Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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